Chapter 1: The Journey of Emotional Expression

As infants, our primary means of communication is through crying. It's the sole expression we possess, whether driven by hunger, sadness, fatigue, or discomfort. When our needs are met, we either calm down or sleep.

Transitioning into adulthood, however, we learn that crying is often viewed as inappropriate. Society teaches us that displaying emotions can be perceived as disruptive or a sign of weakness. Consequently, we bury our feelings, believing that to express them equates to losing control or facing reprimand.

Ironically, this quest for connection and affection propels us towards others while simultaneously distancing us from our true selves. We internalize societal norms, learning to suppress our emotions to fit in, which ultimately disconnects us from our genuine feelings.

Hiding our emotions often serves as a coping mechanism, a method of self-preservation. To foster bonds with caregivers, we suppress how we truly feel, leading us to view our emotions as adversaries.

Many of us grew up hearing phrases like “stop crying” or “man up,” contributing to a culture where emotional expression is stigmatized. This suppression can lead to significant issues, particularly among men, where toxic masculinity and unaddressed rage often stem from this learned behavior.

Suppressed emotions manifest as trauma, though society often overlooks this complexity. Trauma is not only defined by overtly distressing events like accidents or loss but also by the internal struggles that follow them.

“Trauma is not what happens to you; it’s what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you.” — Dr. Gabor Maté

Becoming a parent, for instance, was a traumatic experience for many, yet it is frequently dismissed as trivial. The struggles of new parenthood can lead to unhealthy coping strategies.

Research continues to shed light on how detrimental it can be to deny our emotions. While there are evolutionary reasons for emotional suppression, failing to address these feelings can wreak havoc on our mental and physical health.

Emotions are instinctive responses to our circumstances. How often do we ignore our gut reactions due to societal expectations? More often than not, we adhere to the teachings of our upbringing, which often instruct us to suppress our feelings.

Over time, this leads to an accumulation of trauma, resulting in widespread issues of anxiety and depression. Many reach a point in life where they feel lost, questioning their identity despite having achieved societal markers of success.

I’ve previously discussed the importance of being candid with our journals. These private spaces are meant to be safe, yet we often hesitate to reveal our truths even there.

If we can't be honest with our own writings, how genuine can we be with others? Are we concealing our true selves out of fear? Such disconnection breeds loneliness, suggesting that we’ve lost touch with ourselves or those around us.

Disconnection lies at the heart of trauma, often stemming from fear. To cope and survive, we’ve learned to detach from ourselves and our environment.

Yet, as human beings, we thrive on connection. Life flourishes through relationships and interaction.

To rediscover your authentic self, it is essential to confront your past and embrace discomfort. This journey involves understanding your feelings and recognizing the triggers that reveal deeper truths about your identity.

When triggered by external factors, it often indicates unresolved issues within. A wise individual once advised me to check in with my body frequently. This practice serves as a small yet profound step towards reconnecting with my authentic self.

By engaging in this practice, you'll begin to uncover layers of your identity, ultimately leading you back to your true self—the version of you that deserves to be known.

This video titled "How to connect to your authentic self? Pt.1" provides valuable insights on understanding and embracing your true self.

The second video, "Reconnect with Your True Self: Powerful Message {MUST WATCH Till The End}," delivers a compelling message about the importance of authenticity and connection.