Understanding How Weak Boundaries Draw Narcissists In
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Chapter 1: The Connection Between Weak Boundaries and Narcissism
Have you ever questioned how a narcissist could easily determine your boundaries? It’s not as if you initially welcomed unacceptable behavior; you were just an ordinary individual like everyone else. However, narcissists have a knack for picking up on cues that indicate how they can manipulate you over time.
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Section 1.1: Identifying Early Signs of Weak Boundaries
Let’s delve into a few scenarios that illustrate early signs of weak boundaries:
Example 1:
You: “I wake up daily at 6:30 AM and head to bed by 11 PM.”
N: “Oh wow, me too!”
Then, the narcissist calls you at midnight, and you answer.
You: “Hi, I’m asleep. Is everything okay?”
N: “No, I was just thinking about you.”
The narcissist begins a lengthy conversation, and you find yourself listening.
Example 2:
You: “My friends and I have been hitting the gym every Monday and Wednesday for years.”
N: “That’s cool! I play basketball with my buddies about three times a week.”
On Wednesday, the narcissist calls.
N: “Hey love, I have a fun day planned for us! Get ready, I'm on my way.”
You: “I can’t; my friends are waiting for me at the gym.”
N: “Are you kidding? I put so much effort into planning this! Can’t you just cancel on them?”
You: “Alright, I’ll call them off.”
Example 3:
You: “I don’t allow anyone to smoke in my house; I don’t even smoke indoors.”
N: “Yeah, I agree; I don’t smoke inside either.”
A few days later, the narcissist visits, sits on your couch, and lights a cigarette.
You: “Could you please step outside?”
N: “Oh come on, it’s freezing out there!”
You: “Fine, just this once.”
Section 1.2: The Consequences of Ignoring Your Boundaries
As these small violations accumulate, they can lead to significant disrespect.
Example 4:
When a narcissist blatantly disrespects you, yet you remain in the relationship, it often starts with minor discomforts that escalate into major issues.
Chapter 2: Recognizing the Need for Strong Boundaries
The first video, "9 Signs of Poor Boundaries," discusses the subtle indicators that can signal weak boundaries and how they can attract narcissistic behavior.
The second video, "6 Signs You Have Weak Boundaries | Boundary Tips From Psychologist Kim Long," provides valuable insights and advice on establishing and maintaining strong personal boundaries.