Chapter 1: The Role of Opposites

Inspiration often comes from unexpected sources. A wonderful article by Maria Rattray about her admiration for Dr. Seuss resonates with me deeply. While some may dismiss these books as mere children’s literature, a closer look reveals profound insights that can rival many self-help publications. This isn’t a critique of authors in that genre; it's simply my perspective.

Reflecting on my years of teaching toddlers, one of the most vital lessons I emphasized was the concept of opposites. This focus stemmed from observing their developmental milestones. Toddlers frequently assert their independence with a hearty “No!”—a healthy sign of their growing autonomy. However, we must guide them in understanding when to say no and when it’s important to say yes.

For instance, during potty training, I encouraged them to express “no” when they didn’t need to go, but “yes” when they did. This delicate balance of promoting independence while instilling responsibility was crucial.

We explored various pairs of opposites: big vs. small, high vs. low, wet vs. dry, and ultimately, yes vs. no. I taught them that consistently saying either yes or no isn’t fair, a concept young children grasp readily.

As we navigated these lessons, we identified scenarios where saying yes or no was appropriate. Washing hands before meals was a definite “yes” to prevent illness, while hitting a friend was an unequivocal “no” because it inflicts pain. However, some situations, like sharing, sparked deeper discussions. I preferred to instill the idea that sharing should come from genuine choice, not obligation—an ongoing dialogue that often led to tears from my little ones! Yet, I firmly believe that doing the right thing is rarely easy.

The lesson of opposites is woven throughout education—through reading, spelling, and daily experiences in the classroom. So, I pose the question: Are opposites a necessity or a hindrance?

From my perspective, opposites are essential for growth. They teach us when to stand firm and when to be flexible. Life often illustrates this through familiar sayings: to appreciate joy, we must experience sorrow; to value presence, we must know absence. Isn’t that true?

Experiencing the absence of a loved one brings new appreciation. It enables me to feel a connection even in their physical absence. To achieve this, I must understand the opposite of presence and absence, using that knowledge to adapt and evolve. I must author a new narrative.

I penned a poem capturing the pain of waiting during my father’s final days, which you can read here. In one poignant moment, he asked for my forgiveness. I assured him that, as father and daughter, forgiveness is inherent in our bond. His silence in response was telling.

A thoughtful reply from a writer I admire, Peter Ling, reminded me to focus on my father’s intentions rather than my own feelings. He suggested that my father’s plea for forgiveness was an attempt to connect with me, a realization that profoundly impacted me. I can’t express enough gratitude for that insight.

My father passed away on June 18, leaving me engulfed in a profound grief that is difficult to articulate. However, Peter’s words opened my eyes to the beauty of opposites. Even in his absence, I can feel his presence.

The day after his passing felt surreal. Part of me struggled to accept that I could no longer speak or see him, while another part felt he was still with me. During a reflective walk, I looked up at the sky and invited him to join me. I shared my journey with him, recalling the places that held special memories, and felt his presence in my heart.

This connection amidst absence requires me to acknowledge my father’s desire for closeness. Peter’s message inspired me to reflect, reminding me that while my father may not be physically present, I can still include him in my life. This new story not only fosters a bond with my late father but also encourages me to grow and connect more deeply with others.

This evolution is a precious gift—a lasting connection with my father.

Food for Thought:

What we impart to our children should not be viewed as a superior-to-inferior dynamic. Instead, we should reflect on why particular lessons matter. Recognizing our past ignorance fosters humility and gratitude for those who guide us.

The concept of opposites transcends mere fun; it is fundamental to life. Children learn to say no only after understanding how to say yes. They develop reasoning and critical thinking by recognizing when to affirm and when to refuse. It’s a complex lesson that even many adults struggle to grasp.

The understanding of presence and absence begins in early childhood and relates closely to Piaget's theory of cognitive development. Children learn that objects exist even when they are out of sight.

Perhaps we should reconsider the meaning of opposites altogether. They are not nuisances; rather, they are essential elements of life that foster gratitude, respect, consideration, and mindfulness. They help balance thought and emotion, shaping our humanity and facilitating growth.

In conclusion, opposites are indeed vital for our development.

Chapter 2: Exploring Opposites Through External Insights

The first video titled "Iain McGilchrist: The Coincidence of Opposites" delves into how opposites shape our understanding of the world and ourselves. It provides a compelling exploration of the relationship between contrasting ideas.

In the second video, "Do opposites really attract? Here's what science says #WakeUpCLT To Go," the scientific perspective on the attraction of opposites is examined, prompting viewers to reflect on their own relationships and experiences.