Navigating Dinner Dates: A Woman's Perspective on Paying
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Chapter 1: The Unexpected Dinner Date
I found myself in an unusual situation—one I don't often encounter. While enjoying a delightful evening, I impulsively mentioned that I would cover the dinner bill next time. Little did I know, I had slipped into what I call "Pickmesha mode," and there was no turning back.
Just two days later, we were out driving when he asked, “I haven’t had anything to eat all day, are we still planning to grab a bite?” Panic set in—I had completely forgotten about my earlier statement.
With it being a late Sunday night, our options were limited. He had been raving about a bar known for its burgers, so we decided to check it out.
Upon entering, I immediately sensed that this venue wasn't particularly welcoming to people of color; the atmosphere felt more like they were tolerating us rather than truly welcoming us. But that’s a story for another time.
As we settled in, I couldn’t shake the anxiety of how much I was willing to spend. The reality of possibly having to pay for dinner was sinking in.
We ordered a couple of shots and he began to browse the menu.
Him: “This sweet and smoky burger looks amazing.”
Me: “I think I’ll go for the grilled cheese; it’s only $6.75. You can pick whatever you want under $10.”
Him: “Alright, I’ll just have the chicken tenders.”
Me: “No, seriously, get whatever you want! If that burger is calling your name, go for it.”
Being vegan, I had already filled up on a vegan sausage and salad before heading out, so I was content. However, I did snag a few of his fries, avoiding the ones soaked in vinegar—yuck!
We shared some laughs while he enjoyed his meal, and I occupied myself by catching up on my Medium posts. Once he finished, I asked for the check, which turned out to be pricier than I had anticipated.
My single $20 bill was not going to suffice.
In the end, I opted to use my PayPal card, but I needed to transfer money first. The dim lighting and my slight buzz made it challenging to input the correct confirmation numbers. He waited patiently while I fumbled for about five minutes, hoping he might intervene as some men had done in the past. But he just sat there quietly.
Eventually, I managed to pay, and we exited the bar.
As we stepped outside, I overheard a comment, “Did they leave yet?” I kept walking, suppressing the urge to respond with a sarcastic, “What if we hadn’t?”
Once the payment was settled, I felt a twinge of disappointment. Paying for a man I had just met weeks prior felt out of place, as if I were disrupting some unwritten rule. Yet, I reminded myself that I had offered.
Why was I feeling this way? This man treats me well—he opens doors, holds my hand when we cross the street, and here he was, hungry. Surely, I could buy him a meal.
I made it clear that he shouldn’t expect this treatment regularly, and he laughed. His genuine gratitude was refreshing, and I appreciated that.
What are your thoughts, dear reader?
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Chapter 2: The Dilemma of Paying
In this video, a man's decision to refuse payment for a woman's dinner sparks a viral debate. Explore the reactions and opinions surrounding this controversial topic.
Watch as a woman expresses her frustration after a man suggests splitting the bill on a dinner date. This video dives into the complexities of modern dating dynamics.