Chapter 1: Reflecting on Home

This week, I find myself in Amsterdam, the city where I've spent more time than anywhere else since leaving Australia two decades ago. As I stroll through its familiar streets, memories surface, some illuminating my heart while others evoke a bittersweet ache.

I think of the various neighborhoods where I have lived, the favorite running route that winds along the canals of Oud Zuid, and the passionate moments shared on bridges overlooking the Amstel river. I recall carefree evenings filled with pizza and beer, laughter echoing in the sultry summer air, and the exhilarating bike rides home from music festivals, the dawn breaking with a sense of freedom.

Yet, there were also times of heartbreak, like when I wandered the streets of De Pijp, tears streaming down my face, mourning the thought of leaving Amsterdam "for good" to start anew in California. But it seems Amsterdam had other plans for me.

My first encounter with this city was as an exchange student, immersed in "culture classes" held in a charming attic. I was captivated by the narrow staircases and stunning canal views, the aroma of marijuana filling the air, and Bob Marley's melodies accompanying my morning walks through the red-light district.

That year, I fully embraced the foreignness, seeking to lose and rediscover myself. I tried to immerse myself in Dutch culture, believing I could shed my Australian identity. It took me time to understand that both cultures beautifully coexist within me.

A few weeks after returning to Australia, as my mother and I drove to Adelaide, an overwhelming wave of emotion hit me. She had to pull over as I wept in frustration, declaring, "I’ll never feel completely at home anywhere again!"

While I recognize this sentiment may sound entitled, it resonated with my seventeen-year-old self. I grappled with the complex feelings of longing for a place and people that felt like an integral part of me. I wanted to escape the pain of missing those who were far away, leading lives without me.

Ultimately, what I yearned for was to avoid the inevitable losses that come with an open, adventurous heart.

Over the past twenty years, I've come to understand that within this truth lies not just pain, but also endless beauty and potential. I can experience the deep longing of saudade while keeping my heart open to exploring and discovering "home" in every moment, regardless of where I find myself.

Oh, the vibrant, joyful life that unfolds when I embrace this journey!

The first video, "What's Your Definition of 'Home?'" explores the diverse interpretations of home and the emotional connections we create with places throughout our lives.

Chapter 2: Understanding the Concept of Choice

The second video, "Wikipedia's First Definition of Stay-at-Home Mom Reveals Economic & Cultural Reality: Lack of Choice," delves into societal definitions and the implications of choice, particularly regarding motherhood and domestic roles.