# Embracing Aging: How One Book Transformed My Perspective
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Chapter 1: A Shift in Perspective
For a long time, I harbored an unsettling fear of turning into a frail elderly woman. My aspiration was to be someone who cherishes the aging process, expending no energy on anxiety about growing older. I envisioned myself as a vibrant old lady, sporting a long gray braid and engaging joyfully in creative pursuits.
However, as the years passed, I found myself fixating on aspects of my appearance that I had previously overlooked, such as my eyelids and the skin beneath my chin. I grew increasingly anxious about the possibility of losing my beauty in the eyes of others. More troubling than these concerns was the persistent feeling that time was slipping away. As I approached my 40s, I felt a pressing need to accomplish everything on my to-do list before I was labeled "old," as if all opportunities would vanish upon reaching that milestone.
This fear dominated my thoughts until I came across a book that shifted my mindset this month. The book, Breaking the Age Code: How Your Beliefs About Aging Determine How Long and Well You Live, written by Becca Levy, PhD, offered a fresh perspective.
Initially, I dismissed it after seeing an advertisement online. I anticipated it would suggest strict diets or sleep regimens to activate longevity genes within me—an unsettling prospect given my struggles with sleep since 2008. However, my assumptions about the book were completely misguided.
Breaking the Age Code is a meticulously researched exploration of how our mindsets affect aging. Becca Levy has dedicated her career to examining societal beliefs about aging and their long-term consequences on our health, and her findings are astonishing.
Section 1.1: The Impact of Positive Age Beliefs
Levy's research reveals that a positive mindset about aging can add as much as 7.5 years to our lives and enhance our quality of life. This positive outlook can be gauged by the terms individuals associate with aging. If someone responds with "wise, experienced, fulfilling" upon hearing the word "aging," they possess positive age beliefs. Conversely, responses like "old, decrepit, nuisance" indicate a negative perspective.
Her studies indicate that these positive beliefs significantly influence memory in later life and enhance recovery from physical injuries. In fact, they may be more predictive of future health than early engagement in exercise.
What truly captivated me were the personal stories shared within the book. For instance, there's Sister Madonna Buder, who began running at 50 and has since completed 350 triathlons by age 91. Similarly, Wilhelmina Delco, now in her 80s, remains an active swimmer and politician who has served in the Texas legislature for four decades.
Among these inspiring narratives, one stood out: an 83-year-old woman named Barbara, who participated in one of Levy's studies. Barbara's story isn't about extraordinary athletic feats. After just three weeks of sessions focused on positive age affirmations, her mobility and confidence flourished. She became more socially engaged and experienced a remarkable shift in her outlook on life.
These women's experiences highlight a vital truth: aging does not equate to a diminished life; rather, it can lead to new opportunities and growth.
Subsection 1.1.1: A Paradigm Shift
Section 1.2: Breaking Free from Negative Stereotypes
Before reading this book, I believed that happiness in old age was attainable but often overlooked due to my experiences with older relatives. Many of them became less active and communicative as they aged. When my grandmother passed away, all her belongings fit into a single box, a stark reminder of the dwindling presence some older individuals leave behind.
The notion that our later years could be a time of growth and renewed passion had never crossed my mind. Levy's research challenges the pervasive negative stereotypes surrounding aging, particularly in the United States, where older adults are frequently viewed as burdens.
The societal narratives that I've internalized—stemming from my mother's complaints about aging and my experiences in nursing homes—have led me to believe that aging is synonymous with loss. While I often use humor to cope with my physical challenges, I now question whether this type of joking is ultimately more harmful than helpful.
Chapter 2: Reclaiming My Narrative
As I read Levy's book, I recalled a 2015 skit by Amy Schumer titled "Last F**kable Day." In it, a group of women celebrates the moment one of them is deemed no longer "desirable." The satire poignantly critiques the unrealistic standards imposed on women as they age while highlighting the societal advantages often granted to men.
While the skit is humorous, I realized that I had unconsciously subscribed to these beliefs. The urgency I felt about maintaining my desirability stemmed from a flawed perception that my time was limited.
Though a single book cannot erase a lifetime of societal conditioning, I've begun to see myself as that woman with a gray braid and creative passions. The expansion of life that Levy describes is now a possibility I can envision.
In the first video, "6 Books That Changed My Life (+12 That I Thought Were Cool)," the speaker shares transformative reads, including Levy's impactful work, and discusses how they shaped her perspective on life.
The second video, "3 Life-Changing Books that Made Me More Than $4830/Month (You Won't Believe #2!)," dives into books that not only inspire but also lead to financial growth, reinforcing the idea that knowledge can be life-altering.
As I reflect on my journey, Levy's insights, coupled with stories from other writers, have sparked a renewed curiosity about what my future holds. Her concluding thought resonates deeply with me:
“When older persons are no longer treated by society as strangers but are instead valued by themselves and their communities, aging can become a homecoming, a rediscovery, a feast of life.” (Breaking the Age Code, pg 205)
I am committed to embracing this vision of a "feast of life" as I age, and I want to adopt the belief that I have countless joyful days ahead. I invite you to share your stories—what shifts have you experienced in your perspective on aging?
If you found this insightful, here are a few more of my stories:
Why I Will Never Run Again
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How An Erotic Penpal Helped Me Survive the COVID-19 Pandemic
A unique connection that sustained me through challenging times.