Introduction

Hello, I’m Charles “Chuck” Roast, a self-styled writer who revels in the extraordinary. I strive to transform mundane moments into amusing anecdotes, turning common sense into absurdity, and serious thoughts into playful satire.

I have a penchant for writing cheeky topics like “boobies,” “penis,” and “poop,” but I tend to avoid certain terms for the female anatomy (and no, I’m not referring to “legs”).

I consider myself rather irreverent—not to be mistaken for the film “Revenant,” though I sometimes feel more like a “revenant” than irreverent.

Sigh It seems I’ve confused myself.

You could say I have a touch of immaturity, but life’s too short to take everything seriously. If people can’t enjoy themselves, well, who needs them? Oops, I mean f!#k them!

I’d like to thank the academy for recognizing me as a top writer everywhere, and a special shout-out to the Doc for inviting me to discuss my publication, Dad-Bods. Even if his invitation was a general one, I like to think it was meant just for me.

Let’s get to the point:

1. I currently have only 53 followers (I gained three new ones this week thanks to Kristi Keller and Brett Chrest), but they are the most fantastic followers. However, I need more, so please follow Dad-Bods.
2. I aim to expand my publication, so I’m looking for more contributions. Please share your stories.
3. After addressing the points raised by the Doc in his invitation, you’ll have a clearer idea of what I seek. Here we go.

The Mission of the Publication

Initially, my goal was to achieve worldwide fame and make Dad-Bods the largest publication on Medium, showcase my award-winning stories, and rake in some cash. Unfortunately, the Doc managed to snatch my ideas right before I could act on them.

Instead, I’ll aim to be the “Mini-Me” of Doc and attempt it on a smaller scale, as he continues to teach me new things daily.

Dad-Bods has slowly morphed into, well, still a dream. I’ve devoted so much time to writing for other publications that I’ve neglected my own for too long.

Now that my marital property situation has been “resolved” and I’m moving into my own space for the first time, I’m ready to dedicate more time to Dad-Bods and my upcoming podcast.

The Doc’s invitation and Medium’s latest updates have re-energized me to focus my efforts on creating a platform for Dads with bods, and honorary Dad-Bods, to share humor and valuable information.

To put it succinctly, here’s a quote from one of my stories that encapsulates the essence of a Dad-Bod:

> In my view, a Dad-Bod isn’t just a physical state; it’s a life lived; it’s about personal growth; it’s about taking charge of one’s life; it’s about rediscovering empathy and love; and it’s about mindfulness and acceptance. And, of course, great barbecue!

You can find that quote here: My Definition of a Dad-Bod is Probably Not What You Think (Or Maybe It Is)

The Scope of the Publication

I’m not entirely sure what this entails, but I believe it relates to its mission. Ultimately, anything that supports single dads, married dads, happy dads, sad dads, or even divorcing dads is welcome. I particularly enjoy uplifting stories from women who appreciate men and understand the challenges they face today. Humor is, of course, always encouraged. I even have a section for “easy” recipes and a love for fiction (since my life feels like one big, fat lie!).

Target Audience

Everyone! Young men especially need to understand what awaits them as they age and become busier.

How to Contribute

All are welcome to write for us! Just create something relevant to my topics and be kind.

It’s quite simple, though I realize my submission guidelines may have been overly complicated. I’ll be simplifying that soon.

To get started, visit Dad-Bods, read through the topics and some stories, and check out the submission guidelines. Then forget all that and follow standard Medium submission rules while staying on topic. Use one of the topics as a tag. No plagiarism or copyright violations, please—Holly Jahangiri is watching. Check out her stories for clarity; she has a knack for breaking down complex issues.

Editing

I’ve committed to editing thoroughly—well, as best as I can. I’m just a simple guy with no formal training, but I can recognize some issues. Minor grammar or structural tweaks may occur without asking, but I’ll inform you later. Major revisions will always be suggested respectfully. If you’re sensitive to editing feedback, you might want to reconsider submitting unless you believe your story is flawless (tee-hee!).

Check out these stories by yours truly; they’ll help:

• Criticism and Advice: As Gloria Gaynor Said, I Will Survive
• Editors Should Edit, Readers Should Comment, Writers Should Listen
• I Recently Rejected My Own Story for My Own Publication

I plan to launch my related podcast soon. I’m getting close and expect to start recording around the first week of September. Writers for Dad-Bods will be included in the interview lineup, should they choose, and can promote their books or read one of their favorite articles.

Initially, my shows will likely feature me reading my stories, singing my songs, commenting on current events, and generally finding my voice before I start interviewing others. I may even shed a tear or two.

But remember, I am Charles “Chuck” Roast. I didn’t choose that name lightly. Come ready for some fun, often at your expense and that of others!

Links and Samples

I’ve been writing humor and satire since the dawn of time, which, thanks to the pandemic, started around January 2020. During this time, I’ve achieved Top Writer status several times in humor and satire.

I’ve only been curated once (see below), for a serious poem. Go figure. I think P.G. Barnett and I are on the same “list.” Good company, at least. You should hear the stories he tells while sitting on the exposed toilet in the middle of a cell full of “curation-jailed.” Funny, poignant, and all excellent!

Dad-Bods’ first curated article came from the wonderfully funny Brett Chrest. He frequently submits clean, humorous tales about life as a stay-at-home dad. They fit perfectly with Dad-Bods and are genuinely good reads. I’m not sure why he chooses to submit to me instead of more popular publications, but I’m grateful. He even appreciates the edits I provide. Here are some of his stories:

• Becoming a Stay-at-Home Dad Caused Me to Develop 3 New Shocking Routines
• Stay-at-Home Dad Routines Become More Routine After Adding New Routines to My Routine
• Grilling in a Thunderstorm — Dad Observations

Other contributors include Kristi Keller, Julia E Hubbel, Lisa Bolin, J.A. Taylor, Timothy Key, Kim McKinney, CJ Kowalski, Kasendwysong, and, of course, me, Charles Roast. If I overlooked anyone, it was unintentional.

Future Plans

Yes, the future—etched on a stone dropped by the Fates, shattered into a million pieces.

I plan to reorganize stories into appropriate categories, add my article linking to all my stories, publish more of my own writings on Dad-Bods, and hopefully start a newsletter for my followers. For stories published in Dad-Bods, there should be a link to sign up for my newsletter.

Conclusion

So, there you have it. A straightforward plea for more followers and contributions.

How can you say no? (Don’t even try… you can’t resist.)

Remember, mental health is crucial. If you’re feeling low, don’t hesitate to reach out and talk to someone. I hope this brought a smile to your face and lightened your mood.

Chuck Roast is a writer, author, humorist, and self-proclaimed literary genius for Medium and the Illumination publication, among others. He’s a Top Writer in Satire and Humor, owner/editor/writer of the Dad-Bods publication, which seeks followers and writers.

His one and only curation was for his poetic story, “Remember the Founders and Their Reasons.” He has also been published on goodmenproject.com.

Here are links to his accounts on LinkedIn and Twitter. Comments are always appreciated. Thank you for reading. Write on! Write well, write good, and write enough!

Please comment! I’d love to hear your thoughts!