Changing Managers: Navigating the Stress and Anxiety of Transitions
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Understanding the Challenge of New Managers
I haven't regularly used a car for several years.
Owning one doesn’t make financial sense for me, so I rent a vehicle for occasional trips. This arrangement has its advantages and disadvantages. One major benefit is that I often drive nearly new cars that I could never afford to buy outright. However, the downside is that I frequently feel like I'm re-learning how to drive because each car has different controls. Now, I take time in the rental agency parking lot to familiarize myself with each vehicle before hitting the road. I once jumped into a car on a dark, rainy morning only to discover I was clueless about how to clear the fogged windows. That lesson was unforgettable.
The Anxiety of a New Manager
While the challenges of driving a new car are daunting, nothing compares to the anxiety I feel upon learning about a new manager. Unless I already know and trust this person, my stress levels skyrocket. Transitioning to a new manager is an unpredictable journey, especially for someone like me who experiences life differently.
Two key components come into play during this change. First, there's a need for education. When starting with a new manager, I must explain my autism and ADHD and how these conditions shape my work style. For instance, if I have more than a couple of hours of calls in a day, I often feel drained for the rest of that day, and possibly into the next. I prefer communication through emails and messages, and if a call is necessary, I appreciate having requests confirmed in writing afterward. My work style involves bursts of productivity rather than a steady pace, and I struggle with noise. These aren't unreasonable requests, in my opinion, but the thought of starting this process anew is already exhausting.
Even if my new manager has experience with neurodiversity, I will still need to navigate much of this process, as everyone’s experience and needs are unique.
The Fear Factor
Then there's the element of fear. My previous manager may not have been perfect, but I had established a stable working relationship with them. The uncertainty of a new manager is unsettling. This feeling is universal, yet those of us with differences may feel particularly exposed. Unfortunately, some managers remain resistant to understanding neurodiversity, dismissing it as unnecessary "woke nonsense."
In larger organizations, you might find yourself assigned to someone you've never heard of, let alone met, which is intimidating. Each time my manager changes, I mentally prepare for the possibility of needing to seek new employment quickly. Having endured poor management and bullying in the past, I realize I might not hold my tongue as I once did, which could lead to undesirable outcomes.
The Influence of Management
You cannot underestimate the effect a good or bad manager can have on someone's professional life. Recently, I discussed with my current manager how my focus has shifted; I'm now more concerned about who I work for than the specifics of the work itself. As long as I remain in a role that aligns with my skills, the identity of my manager has become far more crucial.
Insights for Managers
As someone who also manages others, I reflect on my experiences from the perspective of those I supervise. First and foremost, I strive to treat my team members with respect and kindness. This should be a fundamental practice, yet some still falter in this regard. The individuals I manage have lives outside of work, aspirations, and fears. They are not mere instruments for my career advancement.
Secondly, I make it a point to learn about my team members’ needs and circumstances. This isn't about prying into personal matters, but rather about understanding how I can best support them. Effective management occurs when we collaborate to leverage each other’s strengths toward our shared objectives.
Final Thoughts
If you find yourself transitioning to a new manager, my advice is to be open and communicative from the outset. Consider what you would want your manager to know about you. If you are stepping into a managerial role, remember how daunting this experience can be and strive to make it easier for your team. This simple act can lead to profound differences in workplace culture and individual well-being.