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Wrestling with Relaxation: The Challenge of Unplugging on Vacation

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Chapter 1: The Struggle to Unwind

As I sit in my hotel room in Santa Barbara, my young son is peacefully napping, while my older son enjoys a ride with my wife on a surrey. With the window open, I can hear the soothing sound of the ocean breeze as I write. Yet, I can't help but question why it feels so difficult for me to just relax and take in this vacation time.

I have always been the type who needs to stay busy—a true "doer." This tendency has been part of my identity since childhood; I recall feeling devastated at age six when I didn't win first place in a karate tournament. Similarly, I got accepted into every college I applied to, except for Stanford. Ironically, it's the rejection that lingers in my memory the most vividly. Now, even during my downtime, I find it challenging to switch off my mind when I'm not engaged in some kind of task.

This drive for achievement isn't inherently negative; it has shaped my life and helped me reach my current position. However, like many things in life, an excess can lead to issues. For me, the challenge lies in allowing my mind to rest and savor the tranquil moments in Santa Barbara with my family.

Symptoms of My Overactive Mind

One indication of this struggle is my inclination to reach for my phone, often without any significant reason—simply to check in on work-related matters. To combat this, I've taken to leaving my phone behind when we head out, which initially feels strange but ultimately liberating.

Another strategy I've adopted is to limit myself to one email check per day. While I can't entirely disengage from my work due to ongoing responsibilities, I can manage my mental engagement more effectively. This structured approach seems to help.

Another issue arises when I wake up from a "work dream" in the middle of the night, unable to drift back to sleep. These unresolved thoughts can disrupt my rest. Writing about my experiences now serves as a therapeutic outlet, and perhaps it might resonate with you or someone else facing similar challenges.

I suspect I'm not alone in this. We live in a world full of driven individuals, where screens and professional duties often validate our existence. Is this all negative? Absolutely not. But what if I took five days to fully unplug and relish some beach and hotel time with my family before the school year begins? I'm attempting to balance both work and relaxation, and I'll share how it goes.

Ari Welkom, also known as Avatari, is an alt-rock singer and actor based in Los Angeles. A Harvard alumnus, he is a married father of two and a former college athlete. He actively practices martial arts and advocates for anti-bullying, equal rights, and unity on his recovery journey. Connect with him on Instagram or Twitter (X)!

Chapter 2: Reflections on Unplugging

Serenity by the Ocean: Embracing Family Time

See more of his videos on YouTube and explore additional insights from The Good Men Project on Medium:

  • Monotheism and LGBTQ Marginalization, Oppression, and Murder
  • My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me
  • My Girlfriend Lied About Her Past. How Can I Ever Trust Her Again?

This article was previously published on The Good Men Project.

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