Chapter 1: The Reality of Bullying

Bullying does not contribute to the development of a child's character. My experiences in school, pioneer camps, and other societal settings were filled with discomfort, primarily because I felt like an outcast. As a timid girl lacking self-advocacy skills, these environments felt hostile unless I learned to defend myself.

One vivid memory stands out: my head throbbed after being slammed against a wall, and through tear-filled eyes, I could barely make out my camp counselor's face. “If they treat you like that, then you deserve it,” she scolded, adding that complaining about friends was inappropriate. This left me feeling miserable and ashamed, even though I couldn’t grasp what I had done wrong. After all, it was only a response to the bullying that led to my being pushed against the wall.

I quickly realized complaining was futile—one of the girls involved was the counselor's daughter, and I had no chance of receiving fair treatment. Surprisingly, research shows that about 80% of children encounter bullying in some form, and an equal number of adults believe it to be a normal occurrence.

Having raised my own children and worked in various child-focused environments, I've observed that the dynamics within a group are significantly influenced—about 70%—by the adult leading that group. Alarmingly, bullying can often originate from the very educators meant to protect the children.

Consider another incident from my past: counselors had a disturbing method of punishment, sending misbehaving children out in their underwear during quiet hours to face peers of the opposite gender. Such humiliation turned those children into the butt of jokes among their peers.

What about the derogatory nicknames assigned to children who are least favored? Or the undue pressure placed on kids from underprivileged backgrounds, especially those whose parents cannot contribute financially to school activities? The children’s community readily absorbs negativity, often more so than positivity.

The emergence of these toxic dynamics among children is nearly unavoidable, and adults must recognize this reality. As soon as children begin to separate from their parents and engage socially, they start to navigate friendships and rivalries, determining who is an ally and who is not. This is when they learn primitive community rules: it’s often safer to band together against someone, and preemptive strikes can help avoid being harmed.

Adults must vigilantly observe these trends and not dismiss warning signs, managing relationships with care. More complex mechanisms—like empathy and social norms—are not easily grasped by children. Yet, despite various prohibitions, negative qualities can resurface at any moment, reminiscent of hazing practices in the military. This behavior is not limited to those from troubled backgrounds; it can be observed in various contexts, as seen in the “Third Wave” and “Stanford Prison” experiments.

The situation worsens for children who are bullied if they lack a close bond with their parents, leaving them without support or a safe space to confront their issues. An even graver scenario is when parents are ill-equipped to handle their children’s social struggles, turning what could be a simple conflict into chaotic confrontations where the child suffers the most.

General advice will not solve this issue; it requires a tailored approach for each child and circumstance, taking into account individual traits and the group dynamics at play. Environments free of bullying tend to exist only where a respected adult can mediate and maintain healthy interactions. However, if no such adult is present, the situation can become dire, often leaving parents feeling helpless.

In such cases, transferring a child to a different social setting that aligns better with their temperament can be a viable solution. This approach is often preferable to fighting futile battles. Yet, in smaller towns, options for relocation may be limited.

Chapter 2: Addressing Bullying with Support

Understanding how to effectively respond to bullying is crucial.

The first video, Warrior Academy Podcast | Ep55 Help! My Child Is Being Bullied... Follow These Emergency Steps!, provides practical advice on how to support children facing bullying, emphasizing the need for immediate action and guidance.

The second video, Character Development Lesson 2: BULLYING, explores the broader implications of bullying on character development, highlighting the importance of fostering resilience and empathy in children.