Chapter 1: The Journey to Self-Renewal

In the past, my ex-husband would often remark that people sought my help for tasks deemed impossible. This was never intended as a compliment. He wasn’t referring to my ability to mend business failures, secure media appearances, organize events, tackle community issues, or fundraise for charitable causes. Instead, it frustrated him. He would complain about my volunteer work, saying, “You’d think we could at least get a free pizza out of it.”

I was always that person who believed in the possibility of achieving the extraordinary. Turning someone down was never an option; it invigorated me to lend a hand. Solving problems and assisting others was my passion.

However, during and following my tumultuous divorce, I lost that part of myself. The experience devastated me, stripping away my sense of capability and leaving me grappling with self-doubt. The once-optimistic version of myself was now overshadowed by negativity.

Yet, something remarkable occurred yesterday.

While showering, a whirlwind of thoughts invaded my mind—questions about how I would rebuild my life, support myself financially, and secure a stable future. But as I emerged from the shower, a singular thought resonated within me.

“I can do this.”

I surprised myself with this affirmation. It marked the resurgence of my true self, untainted by the self-doubt cultivated by my abusive marriage. The fear instilled by a bullying partner was fading away. I could feel the confident, balanced woman I used to be starting to re-emerge.

Throughout my five-year divorce, my brother often said, “You tackle one issue, and he throws another at you. It’s one step forward, two steps back.” He was right. My husband’s tactics created a chronic fear response, making mere survival feel like an achievement.

The narrative I was living became drenched in anxiety and self-doubt, filled with questions like:

• How will I navigate this?
• Where will I find a home?
• How will I manage my expenses?
• How can I prevent his financial manipulation?
• How will I cope with the stress and exhaustion?
• Will I ever earn enough for a secure future?
• What will his next move be?

Despite overcoming each challenge he posed, I emerged from the ordeal financially devastated. This left a lingering cloud of fear and doubt that shadowed me even after the divorce.

Until yesterday, when I stepped out of the shower, something shifted. I finally voiced four words that symbolize my new beginning.

“I can do this.”

These words may seem trivial to some, but for me, they represent everything.

Chapter 2: Reflecting on Society's Perceptions

The first video, "I asked my husband to divorce me so we did. A month later I bumped into him and what he saw was..." offers a personal insight into the complexities of post-divorce encounters and the emotional growth that follows.

In the second video, "Divorce: When the Dream Is Shattered - Matthew 19:3-9 - Skip Heitzig," the discussion delves into the challenges faced during divorce and emphasizes the importance of resilience and healing.