Navigating the Shadows: My Struggle with Seasonal Affective Disorder
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Chapter 1: Understanding Seasonal Affective Disorder
This year, I didn't fully grasp the extent of my struggles until the sun began to shine again. Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) is more than mere "winter blues"; it can lead to profound feelings of depression that affect various aspects of life.
For those accustomed to sunny weather, it may be hard to appreciate the emotional strain that prolonged cloudy days can impose. In my region, this past winter proved particularly challenging, marked by a record-low number of sunny days reported by the weather network.
Initially, my thoughts were lighthearted, commenting on how lovely it would be to see the sun again or wishing for snow to brighten the landscape. These conversations started in mid-December, but by January, the weight of my emotional state became undeniable.
Amid the holiday chaos and my partner's impending departure for work, I overlooked the signs of my decline. Balancing my introverted nature with social expectations became a tightrope walk, leaving me less aware of how the absence of sunlight was affecting me.
Goodbye Sunshine, Hello Depression
As my partner left and I settled back into solo life, I faced the challenges of leaving for work in darkness and enduring endless gray days. Coping with these emotions, along with the onset of S.A.D., began to take a toll.
My resilience waned. Where I once woke up early for exercise, I now hit snooze and slept in. Fatigue was soon accompanied by foggy thinking, and my eating habits deteriorated as I neglected nutrition. This downward spiral led to withdrawing from work and social commitments, impacting my writing as well.
In late January, it dawned on me that I needed to confront my situation and acknowledge that S.A.D. had taken hold. I started taking Vitamin D supplements to compensate for the lack of sunlight, and I brought my S.A.D. light to work to simulate natural light. I also made a concerted effort to plan social activities and incorporated daily outdoor walks into my routine as soon as the weather permitted.
Chapter 2: Taking Control of My Mental Health
The first video, Seasonal Affective Disorder: More Than Just the Winter Blues, explores how this condition affects many individuals during the darker months and offers insights into managing its impact.
The second video, Seasonal Affective Disorder, provides an overview of the disorder and discusses various coping strategies.
Tracking sunny days on my calendar is a practice I plan to adopt. A friend has done this for years, and I now recognize its value. Mindful awareness is key; just as one tracks food, exercise, or gratitude, being attentive to weather can lead to better choices and improved emotional well-being.
Regrettably, I'm still uncovering mistakes at work stemming from my foggy mindset and dealing with weight gain due to poor eating choices. These issues are manageable but could have been avoided with better awareness.
This past winter blindsided me, being record-setting as it was, but cloudy days are typical in my area. While other personal challenges arose, I neglected a vital aspect of my mental health—acknowledging the lack of sunlight.
Though I can't control the weather, I can manage my responses and decisions. Understanding what to do for physical or mental health is insufficient; it's essential to act decisively. This is a lesson I'm continually learning, and I'm grateful to recognize that taking responsibility for my well-being can lead to a brighter outlook—pun intended.