Chapter 1: Understanding the Glow Up Journey

Is there a step-by-step guide for completely transforming your life, often referred to as a Glow Up? The journey can shift from “this is amazing!” to “I’ll just binge on snacks today and deal with it later.” Today was definitely one of those days, with me devouring two family-sized bags of barbecue chips. My stomach is not pleased.

For some, a glow up is purely about physical appearance. Personally, I’m already fit and can apply makeup to enhance my looks. However, my transformation is largely about inner growth; focusing on a healthier diet and a positive mindset—two aspects I’ve neglected for over four decades.

I still grapple with the aftermath of my divorce. Although I don't miss my ex-husband, I do long for the sense of family. While Joseph was often absent, I was a full-time parent, and now I feel reduced to a part-time role, which undermines my self-worth. I once felt like a genuine parent; now, I only play that role half the time.

Things are not always harmonious when I have my children. I can't engage in the activities we used to enjoy on weekends, as I often need to split my attention to take them to different places. It's now an all-or-nothing scenario. I want to take my daughter skating, but that leaves my son alone outside in the cold, glued to his tablet. Similarly, bringing my son to pickleball means my daughter is left sitting on a bench, also absorbed in her screen.

Financially, managing two kids on a single income is a challenge. The struggle to glow up can feel even more daunting when I experience profound loneliness when my children aren't around. It's been two years since the separation, and I still find myself crying every weekend they aren't with me. The silence can be overwhelming.

As Memorial Day weekend approaches here in the US, I find myself with four days of free time. Joseph has the kids, leaving me with even more solitude. Though I have a lengthy to-do list that could occupy an entire team, being alone leads to too much reflection. My tendency to overthink often drives me down troubling paths, especially regarding my yearning for love.

I did not find it in my marriage, but my children filled that void. Growing up without love made me unaware of its importance until after my divorce. A recent romantic interest who sought to date others left me devastated and reminded me of my deep desire for connection. My childhood, marked by emotional and physical abuse, left me starved for love, and my marriage was destined to fail from the start.

This realization fuels my anger. I have spent years in emotional limbo, almost experiencing genuine love but never fully reaching it. Now in my mid-forties, the only authentic love I've known is from my children.

Before anyone jumps in with the "love yourself first" rhetoric, let's be real—humans are inherently social beings, and connection is vital.

This glow up requires me to confront these emotions head-on. The money I've invested in therapy over the years could fund a major intervention for my emotional struggles.

I’m gradually improving my negative self-talk. After indulging in two bags of chips while rewatching a light Netflix film ("Do Revenge" is entertaining yet dark), I checked the closing hours of my new gym. Despite feeling rough, I pushed myself to go and learn how to use the Smith Machine, which is typically in high demand.

While lunging in front of the mirror, I noticed my stomach was bloated from the chips and Diet Pepsi. I felt terrible and looked it too, but at least I made an effort. In the past, I would have stayed on the couch, wallowing in sadness and eating more junk food to cope.

Having an anthem can be crucial during a glow up. Some songs are cheerful, but I needed one that made me feel empowered and fierce.

In this video, you will learn about creating a glow-up journal to help you organize your thoughts, set goals, and ultimately transform your life.

Chapter 2: Embracing Change

Transformation doesn't just require a few tools; it demands a full arsenal of mental strategies to guide me through to the other side.

In this episode, witness the first week of lifestyle changes as I document my journey towards self-improvement and the ups and downs along the way.