Chapter 1: The Last Drink

On September 12, 2018, I bid farewell to alcohol, celebrating my final cocktail alone.

With a shaker filled with one of my favorites—a sweet yet tangy Cosmopolitan—I prepared for what would be my last night of indulgence. As I shook the chrome shaker, a mix of vodka, cranberry juice, orange liqueur, and lime juice, I felt a familiar flutter of anxiety. Would I be able to follow through this time?

In the past two years, I had attempted to quit drinking twice, each time finding myself back at the bottle within months. This time felt different; I realized that if I didn’t succeed now, I might never find the strength to try again.

My husband was in the family room, while I sat in the living room with my book, drink, and a bowl of pretzels—my usual pre-dinner routine. I wanted to savor this moment before joining him, even as I worried I might regret my decision to quit