Finding Strength in the Shadows of Others' Success
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Chapter 1: Entering a New World
My new job welcomed me with a chill that cut through my gray suit. Surrounded by busy colleagues, I felt like an outsider. A group of geneticists passed by, engaged in discussions about phenotypes and genotypes, while others hurried in and out, clad in white lab coats, addressing unseen emergencies.
Then, the receptionist met my gaze and recognized me as the new research scientist joining the biotherapeutic team.
“Welcome, Dona,” she greeted warmly.
After some small talk, I mentioned needing to discuss a minor adjustment to my project with my boss. She guided me to his office down the hall.
The atmosphere in my boss’s office was imposing, with a desk made of sleek, polished wood and leather chairs. A glass shelf displayed numerous awards, while an intriguing sculpture of a black panda with striking yellow eyes added an unusual touch. The room radiated authority, with only a family portrait softening the starkness.
Professor Brian, a man of short stature with a modern haircut, wore oversized cuff links and a tie fastened with a black and gold brooch. He listened intently, his hands motionless on the desk, his expression as cold as an icy storm.
I presented my project and proposed modifications, waiting for his feedback.
“I like the idea,” he replied, his tone promising. “However, I would like you to assist Dr. Abubakar with a few other projects first.” A tight knot formed in my throat, as I recognized the familiar pattern.
Initially, you’re asked to help for a few days. But those days stretch into weeks, and before you know it, years have passed. Many of my friends found themselves lost in the shadows of others, always in support roles, like backup dancers in a show.
I should have resigned at that moment. However, financial necessity and a penchant for chaos kept me from leaving, as I was curious to see how my journey would unfold.
As time passed, I understood that the frantic atmosphere was merely a façade to satisfy Professor Brian. If anyone dared to relax, he would appear like a specter of discontent. His short stature granted him a deceptive stealth; we lived in a constant state of anxiety.
Like an unhealthy relationship, we were pitted against one another while simultaneously vying for his approval. It felt like crabs in a barrel, each of us dragging the others down after every small victory.
After months of supporting Dr. Abubakar with his research, I was dismayed to find my name missing from his published paper. Despite my significant contributions and countless hours spent optimizing his experiments, my efforts went unrecognized. I felt a surge of anger.
Part of me wanted to give up and leave, but I chose to endure for three more years. Survival sometimes demands that we do what we’d prefer not to, swallowing our pride during difficult times. Many have faced similar struggles—even those who are successful.
Take Charlize Theron, who moved from South Africa to LA with dreams of stardom. She imagined a welcoming committee of agents but found the reality disheartening. With dwindling savings, she faced a choice: return home or persevere. She chose the latter, balancing auditions with modeling and working at JC Penney. After years of hard work and uncertainty, she landed a significant role in The Devil’s Advocate and later won an Academy Award for her performance in Monster.
Similarly, Jennifer Lopez arrived in LA with nothing but a backpack, hoping to uncover the opportunities she lacked. The journey was anything but easy, filled with rejection and setbacks. She took on backup dancer roles for artists like Janet Jackson and New Kids on the Block. Her dedication eventually caught the attention of industry insiders, leading to her first acting gig on In Living Color, setting the stage for her music career.
It’s impossible to predict every challenge one might face. I once believed that excelling in university would guarantee success, only to discover a fiercely competitive job market filled with toxicity. Charlize and Jennifer exemplify that perseverance is crucial.
I learned to resist the urge to succumb to negativity and self-pity. Instead, I focused on creating a plan that would enhance my chances for success. As Dr. Viktor E. Frankl wisely stated, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live can bear almost any ‘how.’”
You might wonder how I managed to stay for three years. I consciously chose professionalism, maintaining the quality of my work while keeping a respectful demeanor. It was an arduous journey.
I prioritized self-care, nurturing my mental fortitude in the face of frustration. I vowed not to overwork myself, allowing time to develop my startup and side hustle—investing in my future.
Ultimately, I gained more from my position than I would have if I had quit. I attended conferences and training sessions funded by the company, and I built a network through the connections Dr. Abubakar and Professor Brian introduced me to.
When I finally left, I had advanced significantly. I had established a reputation in my field, secured valuable professional connections, and my startup was thriving, along with steady earnings from Medium.
Identify your purpose, strategize, and maintain focus on your goals. You may be amazed at how determination can transform your life trajectory.
Sometimes, being a backup dancer is a necessary step before taking center stage.
Chapter 2: Overcoming Unexpected Challenges
The Scam That Almost Sank My Fledgling Company
How unexpected resilience can stem from our darkest career moments.
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