Chapter 1: The Conversation That Sparked Change

During a recent hike in LA, I struck up a conversation with a woman who noticed I was on my own. After mentioning my marital status, she asked, "Did your husband let you travel alone?" I paused and replied, "No one has the authority to permit me to do anything, not even my husband." This kind of independence often perplexes others, as it can challenge their own insecurities. I firmly believe that solo travel should be embraced by anyone who desires it.

While I cherish traveling with my husband, I also treasure my solo adventures. The experience is distinct; traveling alone allows me to fully embrace spontaneity and personal growth. I learn to depend on myself, and I can hear my inner voice more clearly without considering another's opinions. This freedom is invigorating.

Interestingly, my husband and I maintain a long-distance dynamic within our marriage when I embark on solo trips. This isn’t about work; it’s purely for pleasure! I often say, "Alright, I’m off... see you in two weeks!" Surprisingly, this arrangement has deepened our love, although it took some adjustment on his part.

Section 1.1: Defining Our Relationship

I sought a partner who is independent, just as I am. We are two distinct individuals in a partnership. I envisioned a relationship where both of us could pursue our interests and then come together to share our experiences. Initially, my husband struggled with my desire to travel solo, as he was accustomed to couples doing everything together, merging their identities into one.

Then he married someone who thrives on exploration. His adjustment was not easy, especially with concerns about my safety. I reminded him that I had traveled across the continent alone. I am capable and resilient.

Subsection 1.1.1: Setting Boundaries

He had to adapt to my solo journeys because they are essential for my well-being. I explained, "I can only be healthy for us if I am fulfilled." Solo travel nourishes my spirit, and I refuse to compromise on that. Do you want a joyful wife or not?

You teach others how to treat you, including your spouse. It’s crucial to prioritize yourself first. It may sound selfish, but this healthy form of self-care enhances relationships and prevents co-dependency. Many individuals lose sight of who they are outside of their marital identity.

I was upfront with my husband during our dating phase: "I am me, you are you, and we are us." I wanted all three identities to coexist within our relationship. While he accepted this concept, the reality was a different challenge. After I saved enough money for my first solo trip in our second year of marriage, we faced some turbulence.

Chapter 2: The Evolution of Our Relationship

As time went on, my husband began to adjust. I kept him informed during my trips, and he gradually became more comfortable with my solo travels. His initial concerns about my safety diminished as he witnessed my adventures. Upon returning, we would plan our trips together, ensuring a harmonious balance.

As he observed my confidence in solo travel, he started pursuing his own interests. For instance, he once avoided dining alone but eventually ventured out to enjoy a meal by himself. This shift was remarkable.

People often feel uncomfortable with your growth because it highlights their own unfulfilled aspirations. Sometimes, this discomfort can come from those closest to you. It’s crucial to have candid conversations to address these feelings. If they truly care for you, they will adapt.

I clearly articulated the type of marriage I desired. I told my husband, "I will be a complete person in this relationship, pursuing all my passions without compromise. Are you in or out?" He chose to be supportive, and I was prepared to let him go if he didn’t agree. I refuse to sacrifice my essence for anyone, and I don’t want anyone to do that for me.

I equally encourage my husband to embrace his individuality. I celebrate his growth and evolution, accepting all facets of his personality. We can both pursue our dreams while also nurturing our shared goals.

In conclusion, I strive for a household filled with fully realized individuals. I want our future children to have their own aspirations as well. It’s essential to foster an environment where everyone can thrive.

Sweetheart, always aim to be your complete self.