Chapter 1: The Struggle with Self-Image

From a young age, I believed I was the most unattractive girl in existence. I felt like a hideous creature, and it became clear to me early on that lacking traditional beauty could be a significant disadvantage.

During my childhood years, my parents hired a local auto driver for my school commutes. A group of girls, including myself, often traveled together. Among them was a strikingly beautiful girl whom I'll refer to as Dhana. Regardless of how early we boarded the auto, she always managed to arrive later and sweetly implored the driver, "I'm feeling a bit weak today; may I sit?" Her delicate features and fair skin resembled fine porcelain. The driver would invariably ask me, the perceived "ugly toad," to give up my seat for her, demonstrating the undeniable influence of beauty.

As we transitioned into our teenage years, my sister and I began cycling to school, often alongside another stunning girl named Rose. I would ride with my younger sister in the back seat of my bicycle. Rose attracted attention from many boys, who would chase after her as we pedaled. One day, while Rose was absent, two boys approached me, with one asking, "My friend Romesh likes you; can you share your name?" For a fleeting moment, I felt a spark of happiness, only to have my sister, innocent and young, shout at them, "What kind of men chase girls? Leave her alone!" Their surprise was evident as they rode away, leaving me with an unexpected sadness.

Years later, during my time at a private coaching institute, I developed a crush on one of the instructors. However, Rose's charm easily captivated him, which filled me with jealousy and loneliness. I poured my emotions onto paper, but those memories have faded over time.

While pursuing my degree at Miranda House College in Delhi University, I encountered a man who intrigued me, yet my insecurities about my appearance held me back. I convinced myself that no one could love someone who looked like me, pushing away any chance of love. This pattern repeated itself throughout my life.

During my Master’s program, some classmates expressed interest in me, but I attributed their attention to my academic achievements rather than my looks. I still struggle with self-acceptance, even now, hesitating to appear in videos or meetings, fearful of revealing my "ugly" face.

Chapter 2: Recognizing Inner Beauty

I realize that my self-loathing is misguided. It’s essential to love ourselves before we can truly love others. The saying "beauty is only skin deep" resonates deeply with me, despite societal pressures that often prioritize physical appearance.

True beauty encompasses character, kindness, generosity, and inner qualities that define who we are. Attributes like empathy, integrity, and intelligence truly reflect our worth, even if the world often glorifies superficial beauty. This perspective urges us to look beyond mere appearances and to value the essence of a person’s character.

Ultimately, our actions and how we treat others are the true measures of beauty. I firmly believe that my inner beauty shines through, making me beautiful on the outside as well. Each of us is a unique creation of God, and it's crucial to embrace that.

You are beautiful just as you are. Remember, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, as evidenced by those who pursued me despite my insecurities.

James Blunt's "You're Beautiful" serves as a reminder that inner beauty resonates with others, regardless of our self-doubt.

Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful" captures the essence of self-acceptance and the importance of recognizing our worth.

Cheers to us, beautiful souls!

Thank you for taking the time to read my story! If it resonated with you, please follow me for more reflections on self-love and personal growth.